In celebration of the upcoming Valentines Day “holiday” I thought I would post about what love is to me. First the question begs to be answered; what is love?
According to the dictionary, Love is an intense feeling of deep affection.
So let me get this straight, I could actually love those amazing cronut’s the size of my head that come from Heavenly Donut? Well, according to the dictionary, I can because lets face it, I have a seriously deep affection for those perfectly sweet confections.
However in reality, the word love can be use transitionaly between deep affections for inanimate objects or favorite places, and deep affection for other people.
Truly, when I think about what love is to me I come up with the following;
First, lets talk about the intense and deep love I have for my daughter, T. As my child, the fruit of my loins, I love her unconditionally to the moon and back a bazillion times infinity and beyond forever and always! T, who is a product of my once coveted love for her father who, though I no longer love, will always hold a piece of my heart because he gave me T, and I get to lover her; which is the best thing I will ever get to do with my life. No matter what happens in this world, in this life, I get to love her. Through the journey of our lives as mother and daughter, from the first time I looked into her sparkly little eyes, my promise to love her became solidified, and the way that she loves me back; has changed me to the deepest depths of my soul. In my view, there is no love like the love a parent has for their child…. GAH…. Now I’m sitting here baling like a baby but none the less, moving on.
There is the love I have for my family. Though they drive me up a freaking wall most days, I do love them, very much. It occurs to me that I don’t say the words “I love you” to them very often, actually, I rarely say them, but that isn’t because I don’t love them as much as it’s just a thing for me. What do I mean by this? Honestly… I don’t know. When I think back on my childhood I come up with mostly blanks. I’m not saying that I had a bad childhood because I didn’t, what I AM saying is that I just don’t remember much of it. There was that time I won the Little Miss Half Pint Pageant, that’s right… I’m a former beauty queen! There was the time I pushed my brother over in the snow and impaled his head on a nail, I’m such a good big sister. Then there was the time I ripped my arm open on a fence and blood sprayed everywhere, I still have the scar as evidence today. Besides that, there isn’t much more in the way of childhood memories so I ask myself; does the lack of childhood memories have something to do with my lack of verbal affirmation for my familial love? Doubtful although, my dad swears I was found under a rock and possibly came from the milk man… So after putting a little thought into it, it has occurred to me that as a child, teenager and adult, my family wasn’t always one that showed outward and verbal expressions of love for each other. I’m not saying that my family doesn’t love one another, what I’m saying is that their love was expressed more non verbally in the things that we have done and do for one another daily. More frequently over the past several years, verbal expressions like “I love you” have become more frequent which is nice and welcomed and, If I sit here any longer analyzing this my brain may explode. Onward we go…
The love of self. Depending on your thoughts about love, this could be the literal and physical love for one’s self in terms of pleasure and physical release but this isn’t 50 Shades of Grey. There are many other ways to love ones self; pampering (hair, nails, massage), meditation, exercise, material love (shopping), nourishment and even psychological. It would be a lie if I said that I don’t do all of these things, some more than others, to show myself some love. Seriously, did you miss the part about me loving cronut’s? Do I tell myself, daily, that I love myself, nope. However I show myself love daily because they say that you need to love the body you are in if you want it to love you back. Maybe I just made that up… In any case, I am a firm believer that we need to love ones self, body and mind, if we want to be able to move our generation, society and self into a more productive state.
We should all show some love for our friends because without friends life can be boring, stagnant and lonely. Some friends we may love more than others, however love them we should. Over the course of our lives friends come and go; some come into our lives for a specific reason, some at a specific point in time while others come into our lives for no apparent reason and stay forever. There are friends in my life that I only talk to once in a while, some I talk to everyday, some I only see once in a while, some I have never met face to face, some I see daily and some I could slap upside the head. But.. no matter the reason they became my friend or the frequency with which I see or talk to them, I have yet to slap any upside the head, they are in fact my friends and for better or worse, I love them for putting up with my ridiculous, sometimes difficult, and often times bossy self.
One place we should all love is the world we live in because lets face it, we only have one planet to live on, currently, lets not destroy it, again. Of course I say that with the full knowledge that global warming; green house emissions and pollution exist. What I would love to see is everyone recycle, compost and reduce their carbon foot prints, this being said by the girl who drives an SUV and is, 90% of the time in it, alone. That will be corrected soon…. Moving on… Having spent a lot of time in third world conditions, being home in a first world society makes me appreciate what we have even more. In Haiti they don’t have a sanitation department that can keep up with their waste. They burn their trash and pile it wherever they have space. There is no recycling. There are minimal efforts to recycle their plastic, wood and scrap metal waste into profitable avenues, however it is not on a scale large enough to make a huge impact for their little country. Haiti is only one small country. There are so many more in this world just like them and just like us. As a collective force, we can be the change this world needs to survive for our children. For our future. We just have to care enough to take care of our space and do what we can to help others take care of theirs.
There is also my love for Seattle, the upper left. Seattle is like my “home” and I feel it every time I’m there, standing in the middle of the city, walking through Pike Place Market, sitting on a ferry as it crosses The Sound, and even when I’m three thousand miles away wondering what I’m still doing in New England. Seattle has this strange, exciting and scary pull on my heart and my mind. It makes me want to quit my full-time job, sell everything and move West to start over; fresh and free. Crazy I know but then, thousands of people do it all the time. Why shouldnt I?
There is love for a significant other. Since I don’t have one of these, I can only imagine how I would love one. In the immortal words of Ella Fitzgerald, each day should be valentines day. Meaning, why should we show someone how much we love them with tokens of affection on one day rather than on all days? Of course tokens of affection are nice however words and actions mean more. Loving someone else isn’t easy. It can be hard and it can take work. If it were me, I would love someone in the stolen moments, with secret smiles, with my words, my action and my thoughts. I would love someone truly, madly and deeply. I would love someone with the burning passion of a thousand flames from the gates of hell. I would love someone in the darkest and brightest of times. I would love someone through the lowest lows and highest highs. I would love someone to the ends of this world and beyond. I would love someone with perfect and flawed love. I would love someone until the end of time and longer. The point is, is that I would love them with everything I have to love them with. There are to many people who take the love of their significant other for granted. If someone is placing their heart, their trust, their faith in you; respect it, deserve it and return it. It isn’t rocket science.
It would be remiss of me, if I failed to mention, that there are things to not love about our children, our family, our friends, our selves, our world, and our favorite places, however the love that we do have for them; should out weigh anything and everything else. Otherwise what are we doing here, in this life, in this world? Nothing, that’s what.
And with that deep thought-provoking statement… Happy Valentines Day Lover’s!
Until next time!