Writing Letters to my Ex

I’m writing a book.

It’s a scandalous tell all.

Seriously though, I am actually writing two very different books. One of them is a fictional modern-day romance. Very intimate, very fresh, packed full of drama and intense moments of passion. No, not like Fifty Shades intense. The other is actually a scandalous tell all about my previous relationship. How scandalous will it be? Probably a lot less than I like to imagine. How tell all-ish will it be? Very.

For Letters to my Ex, I am baring my soul and airing the dirty laundry, so to speak, with a series of intimate letters that I wrote over the last year since we broke-up. Each letter is centered on a moment in time when I felt that I “needed” to call him, text him, drunk dial him, yell at him, curse at him and profess my undying love or hate for him.

Letter to my Ex was, and still is, proving to be the hardest work I have ever written. This is probably because it is so real and raw. When I sit down to write a fictional story about people who I have made up and situations that I control, the creative juices flow and the emotion that I put into it, while real, is not real to me on a personal level from experience. On the other hand, the emotion in Letters to my Ex is one hundred percent mine. Mine to relive over and over until it is complete and edits are done. It sucks really. This has been a gut wrenching process.

So why am I putting myself through it? Well, as gut wrenching and emotional as writing Letters to my Ex has been, it has also been a healing and learning experience for me. Through these letters, thoughts and passages, I have realized a lot about who I am, what I want out of love, a partner and a relationship. So while I am reliving my own personal drama, I am also leaving it behind to start fresh. There is a lot that I can not say, I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you, but it will all make sense when you read Letters to my Ex. (which hopefully, you will)

In the mean time… I have included an excerpt. A sneak peek. (below)

Until next time!

July 23, 2017 

I almost called to make sure you were still among the living, not for your benefit but for that of the girls. This afternoon Taylor and I were out enjoying some of the warm summer weather when I remembered how much of a workaholic you are and how the girls tend to follow in your lead by sitting at their computers all day. 

It used to amaze me that you could sit in front of your computer for hours and hours and hours on end and not even be phased by the fact that an entire day went by while you were staring into your monitors. Meanwhile you children were doing the same thing. I can’t even count the number of times I went over there and the three of you were sitting in the pitch dark, head phones on, wrapped in blankets and zoned out on video games for them and work for you. 

Of course when I would bring it up you would get defensive and claim that this is how they express themselves. This is how they like to spend their time, building computer worlds and trying to become YouTube famous. Of course I feel like they could have benefited from vitamin D and fresh air too. As for you, well we both know how that ended up. Computer one Anita zero. 

~ a

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