And stay out of it! Nothing drives me crazier than when someone gets all up in my personal space especially when I’m waiting in line to check out in a store. I REALLY REALLY want to turn around and say “back the fuck up.” However my momma raised a better person than that. Let’s take tonight for instance. I’m standing in line at CVS and this older woman gets behind me so close that if I tipped my head backwards, hard enough, I could have broken her nose. Ok, maybe not but still, she was that close.
Here’s the thing, I had enough time in my busy schedule, of working and mom-ing, that I could FINALLY fit in a desperately needed gym session. So if you really want to be all up in my shit, invading my bubble…..
side story…. I don’t know if I should be freaked out or not, but Jasper (my puppy chulo) is growling at nothing. Literally nothing. We are in my office area alone and the only light currently on is my desk lamp…. Can we say mini heart attach happening…. Back to the matter at hand….
So yeah, if you really want to be all up in my shit invading my bubble then I hope you enjoy the sweaty swamp ass stink that I’m currently carrying around on my person. But for reals… BACK UP PEOPLE!!
What makes someone feel the need to get that close to someone else? A complete stranger on top of it. There is only one way I am getting that close to another person and it involves sexual pheromones. AKA, walking sex on a stick. AKA, Mr. so gorgeous I want to be all up in his shit smelling and feeling his body heat so close it could be considered assault!!
On the real though, not only it is incredibly rude and obnoxious but, it is also gross. Disgusting actually. There is no way that I want to smell what you have been doing with your day, smell your breath… definitely not and, I most definitely do not want your germs anywhere near me. People have bugs and they can keep those bugs to themselves. UHG…. I’m getting itchy just thinking about that! Cold germs, I don’t need or want those either!
Let’s talk about how rude it is on a personal level. When your standing so close to someone who you can see what pin number they are typing into the checkout pin pad; then you need to definitely back the fuck up. In this day and age there is way to much identity theft going on for my liking or comfort. Let’s be honest, in recent times you don’t even have to leave your house to become a victim of identity theft. With all of the employer/insurance/retail data breaches and information sales/thefts pretty much everyone has been a victim. If you haven’t been a victim yet, then count yourself lucky because it’s probably just a matter of time. Sadly. In fact, according to Javelin Strategy & Research, $16 billion dollars was stolen from 15.4 million U.S. consumers in 2016. That number keeps rising each and every year. Unfortunately as people get smarter about protecting their credit, credit monitoring agencies beef up their protection and business’ get more stringent with their security measures, identity thieves get smarter. The dirty bastards!
In any case… stay out of my bubble. Please and thank you! If your like me, then lets band together to protect the sanctity of our bubbles! (this is where I envision a bunch of people rolling down Main St. in those big plastic bubbles chanting “PROTECT THE BUBBLE!!”) If you’re a bubble invader… well… now you know how we feel about your invading ways.
Back to my side story… Thankfully Jasper stopped growling. Turns out it was our reflection in the glass window that he was seeing. Silly puppy chulo! I suppose now that I am done bitching about bubble invaders I should apologize for using “Fuck and Shit” so many times but I’m not going to because I say “Fuck and Shit” a lot and if I apologized every time I said it, then I would be saying “sorry” and awful lot and, fact of the matter is, is that this is me; raw, uncut, unedited, uncensored and real. After all this blog is subtitled “A Real life look at Life.”
Until next time!