As previously mentioned, I recorded a podcast with the guys from WE NEED TO TALK. Here is the result.

We discussed both books; Letters to my Ex: with all my love ~a & Falling from Grace, among other things.

Both books are for sale on Amazon and kindle

Enjoy 💋

Until next time…





I’m doing a BOOK BOMB. As you may, or may not know, my book FALLING FROM GRACE is on sale tomorrow on Amazon (Wed on Kindle), and I would be absolutely tickled pink if FALLING FROM GRACE made a huge splash, and maybe even ended up on Amazon’s top 10 list next to Reese Witherspoons new book!!!

So the challenge is…. EVERYONE BUY MY BOOK TOMORROW!!! TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO BUY IT… If enough sales happen triggering a “trend” on Amazon…. I may be on a Best Sellers list!!!

FALLING FROM GRACE is a fictional modern day romance.

Share this, like this, delete this… Just know that whatever you do, I will always value all of your support!!! 💋 thank you!!

#bookbomb #fallingfromgrace #amazon #kindle #writer #author #blogger #authorsofinstagram #writersofinstagram #blogersofinstagram #kdp #selfpublished #publishedwriter #publishedauthor #topten #bestselling #domeafavor #fiction #romance #modernday #lovetriangle #newreleasetuesday #book #bookstoread #beachreads #airportreads #airportreading #quickread #yoursupportmeanssomuch #nosexinthesuburbs


Preciosa… A short story by me

ydf1819.jpgAbout three months ago I wrote a short story as a submission for a contest. The basis of the contest was to build a story centered off of one particular line. Unfortunately, my submission did not make it into the final ten, but I did receive some good feedback on it, so I thought I would share with all of you.

There is a recurring thought that maybe I will turn this piece into a larger work somehow, but how… I have yet to decide. What do you think?


The window was open just enough to let in the cool night air. Sara was lying next to me, sound asleep, the soft sounds of her breathing provided just enough noise to drown out the sound of my heart beating erratically in my ears. Her silky blonde hair was a stark contrast against the black silk of the pillowcase. How did we end up here again? Oh yeah, a bottle of tequila, and too many beers to count.

It wasn’t that I didn’t find her attractive, because she is, and I like her a lot, but I don’t typically step over the fence into same sex territory without reason. Last night there was no reason, except that wasn’t entirely true. I could lie to myself all I wanted, but fact-of-the-matter is, I was desperate for an escape from my own thoughts, and Sara happened across my path at just the right moment.

They knew Lincoln would double cross then when they let him in, or try to that is. Lincoln underestimated his jefe last night, and paid for it with his life. Right about now, some backwoods Texas Sherriff is delivering the news to a hysterical Veronica, that her beloved husband was the unfortunate, and accidental victim of a gang style execution. Even though it had nothing to do with a gang, and it wasn’t an unfortunate accident of “wrong time wrong place”, but instead it was either him or the jefe, and we both knew the jefe wasn’t going down.

Just as the thought left my mind, Sara rolled over exposing her bare shoulder; she has the softest skin. Always warm to the touch and smooth like the petals of a rose. It was now or never I suppose.

Slowly sliding out of the bed, I quickly found my clothes, exactly where I left them; neatly piled all in one spot on top of my shoes. Trick of the trade, you could say. After one last glance over my shoulder, I opened the bedroom door, closing it softly behind me before I crept out into the living room where I pulled my skinny jeans on followed by my sweater and Chuck Taylors. Thankfully she was to busy pulling my clothes off when we got back here, that she forgot to set her home alarm.

Quietly closing her door, I made my way out of her apartment building; pulling my hair into a bun at the same time I heard a door upstairs shut. It was her neighbor, coming down the stairs in running clothes. He is more my type except he’s married with two small kids, and one on the way. How he finds the energy to go running at this ungodly hour is beyond me.

Reminding myself that I have shit to do, I stop ogling the married guy while he stretches, and climb into the front seat of my Audi, the black leather seats cool from the nights temperature dip. Sparing a last regretful thought about Sara waking up alone, I push the button to start the car, and the engine comes to life with a soft misleading hum belying the twin turbo V-8 engine that is nestled snuggly under the matte grey hood. This beast drives like a dream, smooth on the straightaway, and tight around the corners. She’s built for more than the occasional jaunt around El Paso’s streets.

It doesn’t take me long to get from the east side of town over to the west where nothing but trees line the streets, and gates close off every other driveway. Turning left into my driveway, I wait for the garage door to open fully before pulling in. It’s only a matter of seconds before it starts to close again, automatically engaging the secondary locking mechanism, and trip sensors. Before I get out of the car, I pull up the home security monitors on my phones app, and check for any internal/external activity while I was gone. Clear. Next I check a separate system that was installed for the sub garage. Also clear. Perfect. At this very moment I would love to be heading in for a hot shower, and some breakfast, but instead, I get out of the car and head over to a hidden floor panel disguised as a drainage grate, in the center of the empty bay. Standing over it and looking down, you wouldn’t know that it is the locking mechanism to open a hidden door, which leads to an underground garage instead of the city sewer system.

Squatting down, I place my hand between the grates as if I’m going to pull it up except the metal of the grate is designed to read my handprint. Once it has a positive read, I hear the soft click before I twist the grate to the right, and push down allowing a hidden doorway in the tool covered wall behind me, to pull back and slide to the side, exposing a dimly lit set of stairs.

Descending the first few steps, I stop to place my flattened palm against an inconspicuous brick on the wall, which closes the door behind me, a red light illuminating on it to tell me it’s now locked and armed. There was a time when I thought all of this was overkill, until someone tried to kill me. Now it’s all just a part of the game. Just a part of the life I live. Never in a million years did I think I would become the person I am today. When I was a little girl growing up in SoCal, I had dreams, just like every other little girl. I wanted to be a doctor, and then it was a lawyer, but I always said that I wanted to be a princess to. And I was, I was my daddy’s little princess, spoiled beyond belief. As I got older I used to think he spoiled me so much because he felt guilty that I didn’t have a mother; she died when I was a baby. It wasn’t until I was fifteen that I found out the truth.

Pulling myself out of my memories, I got back to the task at hand; burning the clothes I was wearing less than twenty-four hours ago. It was a shame to; I loved this little white top. Maybe I should invest in a secondary wardrobe. Clothes that I could wear for “work” purposes, and not feel sad at having to burn when things got a little harry. Who has an incinerator in their house anyways? Oh yeah… that would be me, the Sicario.


A few days later I’m eating a bowl of lucky charms when a news story comes on the television that sits across the room from me, it’s one of those new high tech, sleek, invisible ones that looks like the wall when your not using it. It’s hung above the fireplace that rarely gets used. The news anchor, some bubbly blonde with too much red lipstick on, is saying that the investigation for the shooting of a local, and known drug trafficker is still under way, with no prospective leads, although they are speculating it could be linked to local gang activity given the manner of his death. Interesting that it’s taking so long to close the case, normally any one of the gangs or rival dealers in town would be eager to take credit for something like this. Not only would it mean the opportunity for a hostile take over of his supply and network, but it also means they get to put one of their own in USP to control activity on the inside.


Thank for reading… As always,

Until next time…

Cake for Breakfast…

I’m not going to lie, I would eat cake all day long if I could. If I knew it wouldn’t make me gain a ton of weight. If it was socially acceptable. I have eaten cake for breakfast once in my life, and I think that was one of my top ten mornings. Actually, I know it was one of my top ten mornings, because breakfast is one of my favorite meals, and that breakfast was cake!

I love eating my leftover birthday cake. There is just something about it that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Knowing that this cake was made just for you. That people you wanted to spend your special day with sang to you, and shared in this cake with you… And didn’t eat it all so that you could have left overs!! Those are the best cakes… And people!

Cake is my comfort food. I know this, because every time I get stressed out, anxious, or am going through a rough time, I want cake. Not just any cake though. You see, I’m very picky about my cake. It needs to be quality, from quality ingredients, and made with care. A little high on my cake expectations, I know, but if I’m going to sacrifice the size of my bum for cake, then I want it to be worth it.

My go to cake is a yellow cake, raspberry and buttercream filling, and buttercream icing. Of course I also love me a good almond pound cake, raspberry and buttercream filling, and buttercream icing. Carrot cake is bueno too! There is thus bakery near where I live, and they make a purple velvet cake. It is amazing. It’s a red velvet cake without the red and coco powder. If you have never had one, I’m sorry to say, but you are missing out.

Pintrest is the worse place for a cake lover. All of the delicious and amazing cake pictures… They make you want to take up baking just to test Rast your own creations. I have a board solely for pining cakes. I also have a boars for pining wedding cakes. You know, in the event I meet Mr. Right sometime soon.

There have been many occasions where I have purchased a cake just because. It’s Tuesday? Let’s get a cake to celebrate! It’s national yellow finger bail day? Let’s get a cake to celebrate! It’s actually kind of sad how much I love cake although, I know I’m not alone in this love affair.

It’s also a good thing that I’m quite a baker. I make my second favorite cake perfectly (pictured above). It’s a pure white vanilla cake, with a double vanilla buttercream filling, and a regular vanilla buttercream frosting. I like to decorate it with fresh flowers for picture purposes. Peonies work perfectly for this.

My favorite movie involving cake would, hands down, be Sixteen Candles. Specifically the scene when Molly Ringwald’s character is sitting on the table with Jake (swoon worthy) Ryan, and they are casually chatting about her life.

Giving other people a stellar cake experience on their special day, is one of my favorite things to do. There is nothing more meaningful, than knowing that you, are the reason this special friend is enjoying a perfect piece of cake with loved ones on this day. I even buy my little pupper a cake on his birthday, and his gotcha day. He appreciates this very much!

My own birthday is coming up soon, and I have yet to decide what kind of cake I want. Do I want my #1 favorite or do I want to try something different? I don’t really do chocolate cake. And I’m not a fan of the fancy concoctions. Thankfully I still have a week or so to figure it out… Unless my own personal Jake Ryan does it for me!

There is nothing worse than someone substituting cupcakes for cake. Yeah, they may be made from the same ingredients, but they are not the same. Cupcakes, don’t get me wrong, are good, but when you want cake, you want cake. Not a mini version of a cake.

At this point, I’m sure your wondering why I’m writing an entire blog post about my love for cake. You see, I was discussing said love with a friend, and also mentioned that I needed to get a new post up on the blog. So, being a total loon, my friend dared me to write a blog about cake. They didn’t think I would do it. Well, here’s to you my friend… Challenge accepted; A blog about cake, and why I love it so much!

In the immortal words of Marie Antoinette, “Let them eat cake!” (Yes, I know that’s not litteraly what she meant)

Until next time…

If I ran for POTUS…

president-hillary-clinton-memes-8.jpegWARNING…. It’s a long one!!!

People are lucky, and I mean truly LUCKY that I don’t run for president. Because, fact-of-the-matter is, we might just live in a better society once I’m done cleaning house. I’m most definitely expressing my own opinions on the following list of issues, and I’m not interested in a debate. If you want to weigh in with your opinion, please feel free to do so, even if it differs from mine, but I will not argue a point. Lets all play nice. I’m obviously not going to talk about all 75 issues, but the ones I feel most passionate about.

On Crime & Justice: Yes, I think the death penalty should be allowed. To clarify, if you murder someone and it was proven that self-defense did not reasonably apply, cause someone to die in an accident where you were proven to be negligent, and/or unsuccessfully attempt to take a life, then you forfeit your own life. This would cut down on over crowded prisons, relieve the stress and strain on prison staff, and set an example. People need to understand that for each and every action, there is an equal reaction, and that there is no getting away with murder. Is this harsh? Yes. However, maybe people will think twice before taking a life that isn’t theirs to take.

Private prisons have no business being allowed to enter into the justice system. Once private money gets involved, things get complicated. Prisons should be standardized across the board. There is no “club med” or “celebrity get away”. If you are sentenced to jail time, then your cell is just the same as Joe Shmoe’s across the country. There is a valid process in having state prisons and federal prisons, and I agree with separating minimum vs. maximum security, but that’s about it. If you have enough money to open your own private prison, then why not donate it to the prison systems already in place so advancements can be made?

Police should never profile based on race, and the war on drugs should most definitely be continued. As a matter of fact, I think that confiscated drugs should be disposed of in a vat of acid immediately, instead of being locked away for other uses, and possibly theft. Confiscated money from drugs should go towards paying off our national debt. Drug dealers, bosses, middlemen, etc…, will all suffer from high dose use of the same drug they were caught selling.

Economy & Taxes: Churches should not remain tax exempt. Churches are a business just like any other, why shouldn’t they pay taxes? Especially if they want to speak on their political views.

Federal taxes should be standardized into brackets depending on your income. If you make 75 million a year, then you will pay much higher taxes than someone who makes 75 thousand a year. There is no negotiation on this from year to year. The rate brackets stay the same, and if your income changes which puts you into a different tax bracket, then so be it. Credits will be limited, earned income credit will no longer exist, and if you don’t have a job, but are solely on welfare, then you can’t claim any credits.

Social security should not be privatized however, the government should not be allowed to borrow from it or touch it in any way. It should also be regulated more stringently. If you didn’t work and pay into it, then you can’t draw from it. You can only draw from the amount that you paid in, and survivors benefits will go away. If someone is on SSI and passes away, then whats left of their share defaults to the national debt.

Education: Charter schools are not helping our public school system in any way what-so-ever. By allowing private groups to form charter schools, we are allowing them to recruit/cherry pick the students that they want. This happens in an effort to raise test scores, show better results, but as a result, this causes the public school test scores to lower, and imbalances the student ratio. There should be one public school education system outside of the University system. All teachers should get tenure, and education should be free in America. If a university/college is private, then please, charge tuition however, if a school is a state school or university, then it should be free to attend provided you have been a resident of that state for at least 4 years, and continue to be a resident while your child is in that school. Common core is stupid, and lunches need to be healthier.

Elections: As long as you are a legal, of age, tax paying citizen of the US, then you will be allowed to vote with valid ID to prove it. There will be no write-in’s allowed after the primary has concluded, and if you don’t vote during an election, then you forfeit your right to vote in the next election. That’s right, you would have to suffer through 8 years of the presidency with no say, because you were to stubborn, lazy, busy, etc… to vote for your president. Sorry Not Sorry.

Campaigns should not be publicly funded however, they should have a more stringent regulatory system for keeping track of and holding onto donations.

Energy: There is no circumstance where fracking should ever be allowed. If you can not drill for natural gas without compromising the environment around the drill site, then you can’t do it. End of story.

Foreign Policy: If another country borrows money, they have to set up a repayment plan plus interest, to pay it back. If they don’t pay it back, fail to pay timely, or don’t repay it in full, then their president, monarch, etc… will forfeit their position to someone who will. And we only allow you to borrow from us once.

Guns & 2nd Amdmt.: Schools are a definite no guns zone. No debate. Gun control will be more stringent. If you are a known fellow, known terrorist, on the watch list or no-fly list, known to be mentally unstable, not a legal US citizen, do not have a valid government issued ID, under 21 years of age, ever been arrested and/or charged with a crime, then you can not buy a gun. If you are permitted to buy a gun, then you will be required to take a safety/certification course within 30 days, and register it within 72 hours. If you can not show successful registration and completion of the course, then you forfeit your right to own a gun, and will be refunded 75% of your purchase price. If you are caught with an unregistered fire arm then you go to jail for 60 days, and forfeit your right to ever own a gun. Assault weapons, outside of hand guns and rifles (the hunting type), will not be available for purchase legally.

Health Care, Abortion & End of Life: Abortion is a personal choice, the government will have no say, except in cases where minors under the age of 18 are concerned. Birth control will be free with a Dr’s written prescription. Dr assisted suicide is a personal choice however, only in cases of extreme deteriorating/painful health, and after a contract is written and notarized with a lawyer present for both, between the patient and Dr. Planned parenthood will receive a federal grant however, will not fully be funded by the government. Health care will be universal, and available to all who pay taxes or are in a marriage where one spouse pays taxes.

Immigration: Checking immigration status will be mandatory for all employers, and those who employ illegal/undocumented immigrants, will lose their business license for 7 years. Residency will be permitted to immigrants who do it legally, are willing to learn/speak english, work and pay taxes, and become a part of their community. Immigrants who refuse to do so, will be deported as many times as it takes for you to realize that it would be easier to do it the right way. If a child is born in the US to an illegal/undocumented immigrant, then the entire family is deported except, in the situation where the child is 18 or older, or they are willing to immigrate legally. If the child is 18 or older, they may choose to stay provided they are in school or working and paying taxes.

Refugees will be allowed into the country under close watch, and only after they are proven to not be a terrorist, on the watch list or no-fly list. They must also be willing to become a legal citizen (following the above regulations), within 180 days of their arrival.

Weed & Alcohol: Weed will be allowed for medical and recreational purposes. It will however, be regulated and distributed by the government; just like any other prescription/OTC drug. If you are caught growing without federal approval, you will be arrested and fined. If you are caught with more than an acceptable (TBD) amount on your person or in your home, you will be arrested and fined. You will need to be 18 to purchase recreational weed, and need a written prescription from a federal approved clinic to get medical weed.

Alcohol purchases will still need to be made by someone 21 or older however, if you are accompanied by a legal guardian or parent to a restaurant, in your home, etc… you may drink a reasonable amount of alcohol under their supervision. If a minor is deemed intoxicated while with a parent or guardian, then that parent/guardian will be arrested, fined, and the child will be required to attend alcohol abuse classes.

Military & War on Terror: The military budget will be increased to provide supplies, training, and equipment where they are needed and when they are needed. Women & men will be considered equal as long as they can get the job done the same, if not better. If it isn’t our war, then we aren’t going to fight it for you. The US will assist on an as needed basis however, it will be limited in resources we provide, and length of time we provide them. If you are gay, you can still fight for your country.

Veterans health care will be improved with more priority on getting quality medical care when it is needed, not 7 months later. And they will be given more funding for better quality of care.

Race: White, black, hispanic, purple, or green… we are all human beings, and therefore will all be treated equally regardless of skin color.

Science & Environment: GMO’s will be labeled. There will be a bigger budget for reduction of global warming. Renewable energy and alternative power sources, will be employed. High fructose corn syrup will be banned, and grants will be provided to US farmers who provide more locally grown foods without pesticides.

Sex & Gender: If two people love one another and want to get married/be together, go for it. If you want to identify with a certain gender, go for it. There will be three bathroom designations; born male only, born female only, no specification. This way, if you want to be picky about who shares your toilet, then use the bathroom for your born gender, if not, then good on you. But, if you use a non specification bathroom, then you can not complain about who uses it or you will be fined a complaint fee. If you identify male and get caught using the born male only bathroom, you will be fined.

Religious beliefs are not a valid reason to deny someone a product or service. If you are caught/reported for doing this, then you will be arrested, and sentenced to jail time for a hate crime, and have to pay a mind-your-own-business fine. What one person does in their personal life, does not affect you, nor is it any of your business. And, it most certainly does not infringe on your religious beliefs, especially since you chose your job.

It’s a lot, I know. But, I felt it had to be said out-loud. Again, these are my own personal opinions and beliefs. You don’t have to like them, but please respect my opinion.


Until next time…


Things I just don’t GET…

I’m going to just jump right into this one head first.

??.jpgI don’t get why people don’t employ more common sense. Everyone has it, but for some unknown reason people just don’t tap into this part of their brain. It isn’t rocket science. All you have to do is employ a little bit of logic, and rationality. If more people used their common sense, there might possibly be fewer bad things happening in the world. Fewer senseless things, and definitely fewer stupid things. I do know that if more people used their common sense, there would be fewer people like me who want to throat punch other people.

I don’t get why people harbor jealousy (envy) towards others. As a cardinal sin, and one of the seven deadly sins, envy is a feeling of discontent towards someone else for any number of reasons. Why do we covet what someone else has, or the way they are, the way they look, etc… If you don’t like your life then change it! It’s another one of those really simple concepts that people just don’t understand. There is no such things as “I can’t” or  “its to hard”… The only thing standing in your way is you. If you want to live like Mark Zuckerberg, then go out and bust your butt until you can live just like him if not better. Sitting around lamenting over someones eases life and how you wish you could do this and that, is not going to get you there. There is no little “I wish” fairy to drop it in your lap. Hard work yields reward. Go get yours!

I don’t get why people steal from others. If you want something; buy it, and if you don’t have the money to, save your pennies. There is no need to steal something from someone else because you don’t have the money to buy it. Not only do you risk getting caught and thrown in jail, but with the state of the world today, you risk death. For real… there are currently 16,358,844 active concealed carry permits in the United States. That is a 256% increase since 2007, and it gets higher every year. If you want more money, get a better job, you want that diamond necklace; save for it. It’s yet another one of those simple, and easy concepts that people just don’t know how to employ.

I don’t get why people cheat on their significant others. If you desire another woman, then tell your other half, and move on so you can both be happy. Why hurt another person just so you can sleep with someone else. If you are married and don’t want to put your family through a divorce, then don’t sleep with the other person. Talk to your spouse and figure out what needs to change in your relationship to change your want for another person. The same concept works if this is a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. If there is someone specific that you just have to be with, and you can’t “help yourself”, then leave your current situation first. It won’t be easy in any case, but if you come clean first, then maybe all of the anger, heartache, and resentment that you invited into the lives of everyone involved can be minimized to a certain degree.

I don’t get why people keep secrets from their families. If you can’t trust your family to see past your indiscretions, past your hurts, past your pain, and past your depravity, then who can you trust? Your family will love you no matter what because they are your family. Keeping secrets will only serve to drive a wedge through your relationships, causing distrust in all things going forward. A lot of anger, and hurt can be avoided by letting those closest to you in. Who knows, maybe your family can help you overcome some of what is causing you to keep your secrets. It also works like this for anyone keeping secrets from anyone else, although I understand the idea of “somethings are better left unsaid”, I feel like the ending is better if they hear the truth from you as opposed to finding out from someone else or stumbling across it themselves.

I don’t get why people put ketchup on their eggs. Although I suppose since I put ketchup on my Kraft mac-n-cheese, I have no room to judge.

I don’t understand why athletes make so much money. These people make obscene amounts of money and for what? If the sport is something that they love and do well, wouldn’t they still play it if they made $150k as opposed to $200 million? For some perspective lets take a look at the numbers; Forbes released their 2018 list of the 100 highest paid athletes, and it ranges from #1 at $285 million to #100 making a paltry $22.9 million. Not one of these 100 athletes is a woman, and among the top five there are at least two counts of tax fraud/evasion, 1 count of rape, 2 accounts of assault, one is serving time for felony charges, and sadly, none of these charges were found to be suspect or unfounded. In fact, they were settled out of court in most of the cases. More digging will show that there is a longer laundry list of felonies, rape charges, tax evasion, and worse on this list of the top 100 highest paid athletes. These people are in the public eye, they are idols of our children, and yes, not all of them are bad, however the good is few and far between. Do something good with your money; $285 million dollars can provide a lot of food for food shelters across the country.

Sadly, the list of things that I just don’t understand is still pretty extensive, but I will save more for another day. If you can sympathize or have a different reason for having the same questions as myself, please feel free to share with me.

Until next time…

Bittersweet Memories…

Yesterday afternoon I was scrolling through Facebook, like one does when they are bored, and came across one of my Facebook selected “memories” from 3 years ago. Normally, when a memory like this one pops up, I scroll by it, and completely ignore it. To be honest, memories like this one are far and few between, because apparently Facebook has caught on to the fact that we are no longer an item. No longer a team of two. No longer a loving couple, and no longer friends on any level, but just like anything in this digital world; nothing is perfect and sometimes memories still slip through.

This memory, just like all the others, is bittersweet for me because it is a reminder of what I once had. It is a reminder of the near perfect relationship that I shared with another person who made me feel special. Another person who made me feel like I was their sun, moon, and stars. Only to find out several months later that I was not their anything except disposable and replaceable.

It sucks on a so many other levels when you hand your heart over to another person, and they drop it. Just like a child drops a ball, except my heart didn’t bounce and there were no giggles afterwards.

I suppose I decided to share this particular memory because it seemed relevant. And I didn’t have to go IMG_2290digging through the dusty recesses of my mind for it. Instead, Facebook put it front and center for me to do with as I see fit. Almost like they were daring me to open up that wound all over again, and share it with the world. That is what bloggers do after all, share their stories with the world. It also happened to pop-up at the same time my Match.com subscription ended, and exactly 1 week to the day that I will be at the New England Authors Expo displaying my book: “Letters to my Ex: with all my love ~ a.” Maybe Mark Zuckerberg and all of his Facebook people are psychic. Or maybe my smart phone is just way to smart. Let me stop there before I delve way to deep into online conspiracy theories or end up making a run for it; to live the rest of forever off the grid. Ok, for anyone who knows me personally, that would never happen unless we were to experience a true apocalypse.

But I digress, as I sit here, still single because Match.com couldn’t get the algorithm right this time, and think about the future of my love life, I’m trying to remain optimistic about the prospect of NOT spending the rest of forever alone. I can’t be the crazy cat lady in the house on the corner because I don’t like cats. Maybe I’ll just be the crazy lady in the house on the corner who could never seem to get it just right enough to find her happily ever after. BOOOOO….. that’s a crappy story line. I refuse to believe that I am destined to spend forever alone, and I will never buy a house on a corner lot.

This is the one thing I never actually prepared for when I wrote “Letters to my Ex”, the constant thought stream around my failed relationship with the man I thought I would one day marry. Always having to talk about it when people want to know the details of the book. Always having him on my mind. When I finished the book, it was a relief to be

IMG_1327over it. Over the relationship, over the heartbreak, and over him. It was a cathartic release that helped me heal in ways I never thought possible. It was a silent expression of every thought and idea I had, but may not have said out-loud. It was also everything I never got to say after he let me walk out of his life. While I am completely over it all, including him, memories like this one still suck, but on the bright side, I am reminded that it wasn’t all bad. I am reminded that I am capable of loving someone to the point of no return, and that I am without a doubt, lovable.

Embrace the suck. It’s not all bad all the time. Get past the initial heartache, and see the memory for what it really is; a sweet (minus the bitter) reminder.

Until next time…

The Helicopter Mom VS. The College Tour

6AA53A74-E0C6-42A2-AD46-4CD8A6259F39Round 1 – University of New Haven, New Haven, CT

First let me say this, no offense to anyone who lives in New Haven, but let me ask you this; why? Why do you live in New Haven? To get to New Haven, which I will refer to as NHCT from here on, you have to drive through MA. This is the most boring, and unpicturesque drive, I have ever been on. Except Idaho… Idaho is really boring too. In any case, there is nothing pretty to look at, the landscape is dirty, and perpetually under construction. If you have ever driven the highways in MA, then you know what I’m talking about; pot hole mine fields, trash, and run down city scape.

Once we got into NHCT, which I have never been to before, I suddenly knew what everyone was warning me about. They said “New Haven? Eww”, “Why are you going there?”, “You don’t want to send your daughter there”, and my favorite: the silent screwed up face of disgust. We exited the highway into the ghetto, or more accurately and politely stated, a very run down area on the outskirts of the city, and drove for about five-ish miles before we came across the university, which once used to be part of Yale. Now when I, a self-professed helicopter mom, read up on UNHCT I was pleasantly surprised to read that it was once part of Yale, and that Yale resides merely a stones throw away from the UNHCT campus. I thought it was incredible news that loaded very well for the academics, and the area must be amazingly beautiful, I mean Yale is an ivy league college after all. So you can imagine the shock on my face when we drove straight through a helicopter mom’s worst safety nightmare only to arrive at the university to see that it is completely fenced in, a beautiful campus, but only way in by car and one way out by car, that I could see.

Now here’s the thing about the campus being completely fenced in; you can say it’s to keep the students in, or you can say that its to keep the “riff raff” out. I say the school is smart enough to know that no parent is going to let their child go to a school, let alone pay for said school, knowing the campus and their child are exposed to the “riff raff.” A very good friend of mine, whose daughter went to UNHCT, once told me that it was fine and her daughter loved the school. She also said that there were never any issues with her daughter wandering off campus because that just wasn’t something she was interested in. If T was like that, then I wouldn’t be having this mini panic attack right now! T is one of those brave, and daring girls who love to have adventures, explore, have fun, and see what places have to offer outside of her immediate surroundings. Especially when those surroundings are as small as this campus is. I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this… Of course the school does have its own on site and fully functional police station, blue light system, and safety app that tracks on campus and off. This should make me feel better right? Nope, although I will say that the surroundings are even more boring, and desolate than the 2.5 hour drive down, so maybe that will be a deterrent for any off campus exploring. Maybe I’ll win the lottery on Wednesday as well!

I will hand it to the UNHCT for having the most appealing academic program for what T is looking to study. Fully supported by an incredibly experienced faculty, and diverse learning opportunities and internships. State of the art facilities, and who can overlook the amount of money they give, which is a lot. For the academics and money alone, it is the school of choice, and it was cool that they gave T a free t-shirt, she has a crazy obsession with college logo t-shirts. For the surrounding environment, not so much.

Round 2 – Champlain College, Burlington, VT

On the total opposite side of the spectrum, we have Champlain College in VT, known as CVT going forward. This was the most beautiful 3 hour drive on the highway I have ever had, to date. It was nothing but lush green foliage, green rolling hills, farms, fields, mountains, blue skies, rocky rivers, crystalline lakes, and eco-friendly rest stops. There were a few solar farms along the way, but they didn’t detract from the beauty of the country at all, on the contrary, they made it even more beautiful.

Once we made it to Burlington, another city I had not been to before, we exited the highway into what could only be described as a typical rural New England town, as the city center was still a few miles up. Quaint little pizza parlors, yoga studios, smoothie joints, boutiques, and a specialty bagel shop lined the street interspersed with older Victorian style homes that got more extravagant, the closer to CVT that you got. Of course there was the beautiful specter of Lake Champlain across the street, views were interspersed with more industrial type buildings along the train track.

For being a somewhat smaller school, CVT gave off the big university vibe, with its set up right in the middle of a thriving community. This is a plus for the college student who is looking for room to move without being in the big city, and perfect for the helicopter mom who has a daughter that likes to explore. Burlington, VT having been named the safest place in the US to live, and the beauty of the city also attribute to this helicopter mom feeling more at ease with her little girl being 3 hours away at school, and there not being any fences needed to keep the “riff raff” out. They also use the blue light system along the campus but, through proven data, have not had to use it for anything other than the occasional, “I’ve been locked out of my dorm” call.

CVT did also provide a ridiculously good BBQ lunch spread, AND Ben & Jerry’s ice cream for dessert. NO free t-shirt, but they gave visitors a discount in the store, should they want to procure a shirt, or in our case, a sweatshirt. The only, so far, downside to CVT is the academics. While they are top of the game in all majors they offer, they don’t offer the exact area of study that T is looking for. As a result, she would have to double major, and combine courses only to graduate with a degree in a non-specialized field within her field. If that makes sense. But mom… they don’t require SAT OR ACT scores… HA!

In summary, the helicopter mom in me says for safety sake, CVT. For academics, UNHCT. What does T say? As of right now, she says UNHCT because the campus (not the surroundings) is beautiful, the academics are perfect for what she wants to study, she feels she could really excel at UNHCT, and after she graduates she would be more desirable in the job market because of her academic history.

I’m sure you can all imagine the look on my face right now. Needless to say it looks to be helicopter mom – zero, college tour – 1. This is only two schools visited so far so this may change, however with UNHCT being the number 1 school for her area of study, I have a feeling this helicopter mom is going to suffer a few more break downs long the way.

FYI… I did not cry once while on either tour….. ok, I may or may not have  buried my face in my pillow later at night and did it!!

Until next time…


Falling from Grace… Chapter 4

FullSizeRenderWell part of it anyways… I thought it was time for a sneak peek at my soon to be released fictional debut! Yes Fictional Debut. My first book was non-fiction, based on my own life, which was being written in tandem with  Falling from Grace. Falling from Grace, which will be my second book release, is a modern-day fictional romance with a love quadrangle, lies, secrets, revelations, and self discovery. It will ultimately be a two book story, and part of a four book series that will follow along with the love lives of two other characters from this book.

Please enjoy this little nugget, and if you feel so inclined, please let me know what you think…


Chapter Four

I had three goals for the night. One, spend a wonderful evening celebrating the success of the BU Terriers with the man I love. Two, tell that man that I was sorry for the mess I had made of the past few months and three, tell Ian that I wanted us officially back together. When we first got to the party none of that had changed. My plan was still held strong. My feelings had not changed. However, something in the last few moments had changed because standing here with my arm wrapped around Ian’s the sounds of the room becoming a very dull roar in my ears, my pulse picking up and a warmth I had never felt before spreading throughout my entire body, I was seriously considering walking over to this stranger and wrapping myself around him, letting him envelope me in his arms, letting his scent wash over me, letting him consume me.

I can’t say for sure where these thoughts were coming from. Whether they were just my bodies’ reaction to the gorgeous man across the room or whether this was fates way of kicking me in the shin and saying, “ha ha you can look but cant touch”.

Not entirely true…

This man who had a visual lock on my soul was perfect. Standing across the room I could feel the burn of his intense gaze in the deepest depths of my recesses. He was tall with jet black hair tousled in that sexy I just crawled out of bed after having had the hottest sex of my life way. There was a slight stubble covering his classically handsome face and those eyes… even at this distance I new they were the most startling blue color. The kind of blue that reminds you of ice burgs in the Arctic Ocean waters off the coast of Northern Alaska. All I could think was… nothing.

My brain had shut down. Not one thought was moving around in there. I couldn’t even say whether I was breathing or not, although since I was still standing and no one was freaking out, I must be breathing… right? Loss of breath must be synonymous with loosing your hearing because I’m sure my heartbeat screaming in my ears is not the only sound in this crowded room right now but somehow my feet worked because instinctively I took a step away from Ian and towards this stranger.

“…. G” The sound of Ian’s voice somehow broke through the haze that had settled over my brain and though it still felt like strong masculine hands were caressing me from the inside out I managed to drag my gaze away from tall dark and handsome to look into the questioning green gaze of the man on my right.

“I’m sorry, what?” I prayed with everything I had in that moment that Ian hadn’t noticed what just happened.

His warm smile and soft chuckle eased my rising anxiety. “I asked if you wanted something to drink?” He said as he reached up to smooth his fingertips over my cheekbone.

Returning his smile I said, “yes, please!”

“Something fruity or…” Letting his words trail off I smile sweetly at him and laugh softly when I say “Stronger, please.” His answering chuckle was followed by a soft yet claiming? Kiss to my lips before he walked off towards the bar.

Is it possible that he did see? I don’t think so. There is a small part of me that thinks he may have but the rational, the knowing side of me, knows that he couldn’t have. Ian isn’t exactly known for his subtlety when it comes to marking his claim on me where other men are concerned. Surely I’m just being paranoid and perhaps feeling a tad bit guilty for my reaction to this stranger who is right now at this moment walking towards me. Oh this cant is good. Quickly looking towards the bar I notice Ian is locked in a conversation with one of the teams coaches and another man while they wait their turn at the bar and when I turn back around he’s there. This man who made me want to cross the room and crawl up his body is there and all I can do is stare straight into his chest.

He’s taller than I thought him to be. Maybe about six foot two. Again all rational thought seems to have slipped from my brain. I try my hardest to focus on my breathing. Maybe if I can do that then I can survive the next few moments. Not likely. Somehow a single thought breaks through. The realization, that this is it. This is the moment. This is the blink that will change my world forever.

“Hello.” His voice, deep smooth and accented slides over my skin caressing it the way his gaze caressed my very being. My eyes blink closed, my lips part infinitesimally on a sharp intake of breath and after what seems like an eternity my eyes open and I look up.

“Hello.” My voice comes out as a breathy whisper causing a knowing smile to spread across his lovely full lips…. God! Could I be any more transparent?

For a moment we both just stand there gazing at one another. Him with a beautiful smile, his hands in the pockets of his black dress pants. I can tell he is very well built under his black V-neck sweater and grey collard shirt. The sleeves of which are rolled up and pushed up his muscled, tattooed forearms. For the love of all that is holy…. I think my mouth just went as dry as the Sahara.

And then there is me… I can just imagine what my face looks like. Wide eyed “oh” face comes to mind. It takes a mental smack down before I can mange a small, shy smile. What is wrong with me?Taking a very deep breath, which is actually a mistake because it allows me to draw his scent in, clean, musk and man. Pure unadulterated man…. It seems as though a lifetime has passed since I had used that term to describe another man. As if my brain wasn’t clouded enough. Stealing my nerves and trying my hardest not to sound like an ogling maniac I clench my right hand into a tight fist before flexing it and holding it out to him praying to all the gods of totally thrown off her confidence level girls for strength enough to keep it from shaking and say with a little more volume a little less breathy “My name is Georgina.”

His larger and much softer than I would have imagined hand slides into mine, his fingers enclosing my hand within his and a million bolts of electricity shoot though my arm and the rest of my body zinging from nerve to nerve waking them all with a very resounding “hello”

“Its very nice to meet you Georgina. My name is Liam.” If my panties weren’t already wet they would be now. His accent, British, was doing things to my body that filled in the very few gaps that being in his presence had left open.

I remember thinking that I was in so much trouble as I said “Likewise Liam. Its very nice to meet you as well.”

The last time I had feelings like this stir within the depths of my being was when I met Ian. Although this time it was a little different. I cant say what exactly was different about it and I had every intention to try and figure it out later. Later being the key word because right now all I could think about was the feeling of my hand in Liam’s and I didn’t think about how those same hands would feel gripped in my hair holding my lips to his. I didn’t think about how those hands would feel skimming slowly down my body. I definitely didn’t think about how those hands would feel cupping my breast intimately and I most definitely did not think about how those hands would feel pressed against my most intimate down stairs region. Nope. Definitely did not think about all the ways those hands could make me moan with pleasure. Shit…

As if all of my thoughts were laid bare at his feet, Liam smiled sweetly, not one of those cocky all knowing smiles but a genuine sweet make you swoon kind of smiles and then he surprised me when he said “you feel it too.” A statement not a question and if I wasn’t so focused on him I might not have heard the softly spoken words. Definitely in trouble…. I didn’t know what to say so I slowly nodded my head YES!! Yes I feel it to and YES I want to feel more and YES I like how it feels. Yes yes yes….

NO!! No, this cannot be happening right now, not tonight, not ever. I had a plan damn it! Tonight is the night I was supposed to officially give myself back to Ian. Tonight was the night I was going to tell Ian that I wanted all of the things we always talked about having together. Tonight…. Tonight is the night I instantly fell in love with another man.

“A penny for your thoughts” he was trying to be gentle with my fragile currently fracturing self-control.

“Um… I’m sorry, I…” I couldn’t help the nervous giggle that bubbled up from my belly; thankfully it was soft and not loudly obnoxious. “Are you an alumni of the school?”